Saturday, January 21, 2017

President Trump Resigns

In a stunning "Breaking News" segment, CNN has announced that Donald J. Trump has resigned his Presidency in the face of growing protests.  Reporting from the White House, Jared Abersom interviewed the newly sworn-Trump as he met with a few press members on the South Portico this morning.  According to informed sources, Trump made this statement shortly after learning the New York Post called his inauguration speech "dark and divisive."

"I see the damage caused by the protests yesterday and the prospective dissension raised by the planned Women's March today and I feel I can no longer serve as President," stated Trump. "I ran for office to unite the American public, not create further conflict."

Presidential advisers told CNN reporter Aberson that Trump would give his official resignation at 12:30 pm, EST today.


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